An Idiot's Guide to Catching the Big One
by Monopoly
Summary: One Shot. Inspired by a letter published in Nintendo Power magazine. Nobody knew Ganondorf's true weakness... Except, apparently, Link. Twilight Princess fic, small spoilers for the ending.


Disclaimer: I own a copy of the game, but not the franchise and/or copyright.

Ganondorf sneered cruelly as the upstart hero who held the Triforce of Courage dismounted from his horse and walked right into the trap that Ganondorf himself had laid. As a magical barrier sprang up around them, Ganon laughed and drew his sword. "The game ends here, foolish boy. Behold my true power!" He started to draw back to attack, then stopped abruptly- the idiot boy hadn't moved at all. "Well?" Ganon demanded irritably. "This is the part where you get a determined look on your face and pull out the Master Sword. Trust me, I've done this a million times before with people who look just like you." Instead of doing as Ganon had suggested, the green tunic'd blond haired boy just grinned and reached into a magical infinite pocket on his belt. And then, to Ganon's disbelief, the boy _spoke_. "Oho! I bet you think that you've got me beat. I mean, even though every other guy in a green tunic with blond hair has given you a total beatdown, I can understand that you're still hopeful for victory or whatever. This time, though, you're going to be defeating in a more humiliating manner than ever before! This time, I have discovered the ultimate weapon to use against you! More deadly than even the Master Sword! More-" It is possible that the hero would have rambled on for a couple of hours here if Ganon hadn't cleared his throat very, very loudly. It turns out that people who spend their entire lives not talking tend to talk a lot when they finally decide to open up the floodgates, so to speak. Ganon decided he had had enough. "Just pull it out already! There's no need for a five hour speech."

"Then I shall!" cried the hero. "Behold!" And he whipped out…a fishing rod. Ganon started laughing. "A-A-A fishing rod? That's it? That's your great weapon? Well, come on, then. Show me-show me what you can do…" The fish-ready hero waited patiently for Ganon's laughing fit to cease. When Ganon finally straightened from his doubled-over position and looked back at the hero, the stout lad did a single thing: he cast the fishing rod. Not at Ganon, but to the right, so that it passed right by his head. Ganon followed it with his head, and as he watched it his eyes widened and glued onto the spot where the hook had landed. The hook on this fishing rod was no ordinary thing. It was quite possibly the shiniest thing that was not the Triforce that Ganon had ever seen. He was completely transfixed by it. Why did it shine and sparkle so brightly? Why must it belong to this stupid little boy and not himself? Why, he would take this sparkly little thing and hug it and love it and name it George, then he and George would go and claim the lovely shiny Triforce for themselves, and they would all live happily ever after in a world of pure evil.

Or, they would have, if Link(our green-clad hero) hadn't taken Ganon's distraction as an opportunity to stab him through the head. It was really a beautiful, clean stab, and a fatal wound. The Evil King Ganon's last sight as he was destroyed for good was the sparkling fish hook. Link, after a brief victory dance, took off up a conveniently nearby hill to find his usually grumpy companion, Midna. He found her looking suddenly a lot hotter and a lot less grumpy. He was about to make some probably cheeky comment on this sudden development, but Midna beat him to the figurative punch. "Well", she huffed, "that's a let down. Kings and sages and other various wise-people spend hundreds, possibly thousands of years trying to get rid of Ganon, and you take him out with a stupid fish hook? I'd whine at you about the unfairness of it, but I don't have the time. I've got to dig up two thousand rupees to give to Zelda. See if I make a bet with anyone outside the Twilight Realm again…" Link watched in disbelief as Midna glided off, leaving him all alone in Hyrule field. " I should've never told Navi she looked fat in those wings… These kinds of things never happened when I ran around with her."

END


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